What does ‘unwanted sexual experiences’ mean?

When we say ‘unwanted sexual experiences’ we refer to any event which was sexual in nature to which you didn’t give active and informed consent.

This can include sexual abuse or harassment (including online sexual harassment), child sexual abuse, rape or assault, sexual teasing and innuendo, and revenge porn (the sharing of private sexual photos or footage).

For example, your manager at work may have touched you inappropriately or made an unwanted sexual comment. You may have a co-worker who persistently flirts with you in an unwanted and uncomfortable way. You may have been watched on a night out in an inappropriate sexual way by a stranger or have them expose themselves or “flash” you. You may have felt pressured or coerced into an unwanted sexual activity by your partner.

This list is by no means exhaustive. Your experience is totally unique so it’s normal to feel like what has happened to you doesn’t fit into what you are reading here.

You can read more about these different experiences and the different types of support available at www.menaswell.nl and on our resource page.

What do we mean by active and informed consent?

It’s not always easy to be sure about whether you’ve consented or not.

You may have been abused by someone you know, someone you trusted or were hoping to have a good time with. Maybe it was your partner or someone you fancy. Maybe it was someone in your workplace or someone you met online specifically with the plan of having sex. Maybe drink and drugs were involved so you can’t remember exactly what happened.

Consent means you freely and actively give agreement to a sexual act or activity. If you are threatened, frightened, drugged, coerced or asleep then you can’t give your consent freely. The law also states that those younger than 16 are unable to give informed consent.